true meaning of “marriage makes you one”.

So in this day and age everything is so different, so evolved. What about marriage? It has changed drastically. I see couples who have so many boundaries, where they have even blocked each other on social media! Is that too much?! Is that truly being one?! What happened to what’s yours is mine?! What happened to complete submission? To vulnerability? I have gotten with couples that keep things from each other so that the other won’t use it against them if they were to ever get a divorce!
Then there are those who want to keep it classic “like the old days” where if one goes the other has to as well and if one can’t go then neither can the other. Where they are robbed from their own identity because the have to be more like their spouse. I know couples who only are with their spouse there is no more group settings or friends because they no longer fit due to the spouses taste in friends. Is that how it should be? Shouldn’t there be a happy medium? Let me know what your take on marriage is. How should it be? What is the “right way”? I would love to hear everyones input! And be ready! I’m about to get real vulnerable here and give you insight into my marriage and how I think it should be.
                       “ No one is perfect, but we should always try to be better”
                                                                                                 I’m back :) -Valcal on just life.

Such a blessed weekend!

        Twenty-one years ago my brothers and I were laying on mats at a day care, my mom got out of work at 10pm getting to us by bus by 10:30pm, we would then rush to the bus stop across the street to make it for the last bus of the night. That night we had all fallen asleep so my mom had to get there and wake us up, we missed the bus. I remember it was cold and the cold wind crashed against my face, my two year old brother Valentin cried because he had to walk while my mom carried Leonard because he was only one. I tried carrying Valentin off and on but even I was to the point of almost crying, I would just tell Valentin sorry, put him down and continue pulling him by the hand while he continued to cry. Two people pulled over asking to give us a ride and my mom turned them away, I cried because I knew we had to decline, but it would have felt so good to just sit. I just watched my little brothers and wished we had a car. I remember getting home and looking at the digital clock on the TV stand, it read 1:00am.
       This weekend, my boss and friend blessed me with a car. As I drove home in my brand new car  I couldn't fight back the tears remembering what life was at one point in time for me. Never in a million years did I imagine that someone would bless me by giving me a car. I feel so humbled, and as that memory popped in my head, I felt that it was God telling me he hadn't forgotten either.
       Xander named the car Jackson Storm, he's a huge cars fan. As he pretended to drive the car, again I was humbled, my son hadn't gone through any of the things my little brothers had by his age. Yesterday my little guy turned three years old, another blessing on it's own. My son is a year older and tomorrow is promised to no one so for that I am so thankful. For the car I am so thankful, I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for it. I am thankful for this wonderful life in general, for the people who surround me, the blessings I am able to give, the ones I receive and the air that I breathe.

 

It has been a long time.

FOUR YEARS! I haven't posted anything in four years. I have had so much to share but no time, because of life, just life.
WELL, actually! I had a little one. My biggest dream became true. My son will be 3 in a few days and time has gone by too fast. Oh the joy of having a little boy! Cars everywhere! I have learned so much from him and have tried my best to teach him, too. It's hard shaping a little one to be the best they can be, with fear that you may be pushing too hard or maybe not hard enough, when "no"
should be told, when its been told too many times. I try to be the best parent I can be, but that's when God steps in, at the end of the day when I am scared that maybe I wasn't perfect I am reminded I don't have to be. As parents we stress over teaching them to be kind, to obey, to be able to use their words, potty training (my current challenge), to be strong, voice their opinion, But not talk back.  I want my son to be able to say "no, I don't want to do that" so that he is confident of himself and doesn't fall for peer pressure, but when he is told to clean up his toys and that comes out of his mouth 😅......... This parenting thing is tough. I have to be reminded that he belongs to God and that I am a tool God is using to shape this little guy into the man he is meant to be. I will enjoy every hug, kiss and beautiful memory on the way. My boy is strong willed (stubborn), strong (breaks things), brave (climbs everything), voices his opinion (says "No!' a lot), but most importantly my gift from God (Natahniel). Alexander Nathaniel to be exact. It feels great to be back, cant wait to share so many things with you.
                                                                                             

                                                             











  ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
                                                   1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"Kangaroo Method"

The results of introducing the 'kangaroo method' (constant nursing of the baby skin to skin on the mother's chest), as the exclusive means of treating low birth weight (LBW) babies is reported, in the context of a mission hospital in a developing country without incubators and standard equipment for care of LBW neonates. Details of the method developed are described. The survival of babies born under 1500 g improved from 10% to 50%, whereas that of babies 1500-1999 g improved from 70% to 90%.

 I was always told that when a baby was sick the mother would hold the baby to their chest then the warmth and beat of her heart would keep the baby alive. I took it as just superstition.

   So 7 yrs ago my family pet had a litter of puppies and there was a runt. He was so small and cute as they usually are, well she wouldn't nurse him or keep him with the rest of the puppies. For about one week Every night after work I would walk outside in the cold month of February and he would be crying while she would be under the barn with the rest of the puppies, so every night i would pull her out and make her lay there so he could eat then put him with the rest of the puppies. I would ask my mom to keep an eye during the day because I would have to be at the bus stop for school by 645am then get out of school at 230pm to only get dropped off at the bus stop and walk to work, I never made it home till after 1030pm.
After one week I got home at 11pm and my mom told me she couldn't get Wendy (the mother of the puppies) to nurse osito (the name i had given the runt, which means baby bear) so i walked outside to find him in a small hole where I am guessing he had stumbled looking for the rest of the litter and couldn't get out. He wouldn't even move and hadn't eaten all day it was freezing outside so i was sure i had lost him, his heart was still beating though so I took him inside, laid him on my chest and covered us up under a warm blanket and waited...... Much to my surprise after about 30 minutes he started crying and squirming! so off we went at midnight to find a puppy bottle and the special puppy milk. I took care of him, fed him and he slept with me on my bed. He would wake me looking for milk through out the night, I felt like a teenage mother, though I am sure it wasn't half as hard as having an actual baby.
 Time flew though and he was on puppy food in no time so cute and fluffy like a cotton ball. Osito was on special food though he had a very sensitive stomach and he was blind. When i would get home he would hear my voice and come running bumping into everything falling back then right back up till he got to me. I loved him so much I felt so connected to him I guess because I had to literally play mommy with him.
At the end of May I was away for a weekend, I left written instruction and everything. Ziploc bags with the exact amount he needed to be fed, the times he needed to be fed and took out, etc.. When I returned he was outside, my dad believed dogs belong outside and he didn't like the way i treated "the dog like a human child".
I walked outside to find Osito walking like he was about to fall, I picked him up took him inside and gave him water he whimpered the rest of the afternoon. That night he vomited all over the room and had diarrhea. I stayed up all night with him not knowing what to do and I didn't even know 24 hr vet hospitals existed. He started to get frustrated running into the wall, all I could do was hold him and I cried feeling like I should know what to do. Finally he stopped and I hoped it meant it was over it was 5am, i had gotten no sleep but stayed holding him I was scared to put him down, I thought he would die and he would be alone. He starred at me, his eyes, I still remember those eyes he couldn't see me but I felt he was looking straight at me. My dad was on his way to work and just put his arm around me and said he was sorry. My mom took the puppy from me at 630am she said he was gone and that i needed to let go. I still felt a heart beat though and the vet up the street opened in one hour and a half, she told me to take a nap and at 8 we would take him because i needed to be at work at 10am. As soon as I laid down she walked in to tell me he was gone, that it happened as soon as I walked away.
I blame myself for so many things to this day like if i would have known about a 24hr vet or if i would have stayed home over that weekend, I later found out my parents gave him scraps. They always gave the dogs scraps but not mine, he was always on his strict diet and that weekend when they gave it to the other dogs he ate some as well in the scraps was pork leftover and no one could tell me how old it was. I was 17 when this all happened and completely oblivious to what it really meant to own a dog. I know now.
I cant do anything now about the dog I lost but it makes me all more the cautious with the three I have now. My advise to everyone is, Please inform yourself before getting a pet. Oh and always ADOPT, there are to many dogs already dying alone.

Who would have thought......

Moving out of my apartment due to the fact that I have a pit bull. Never did I think that society was actually this close minded to pit bulls. When I went to the office and they told me they didn't accept aggressive dogs I couldn't help but cry right there and then, my baby girl aggressive? She is so gentle and loving. I said " I will not stand for this, my dog stays with me and that's final!" And I went hunting looking for a house to rent where she could have her own back yard. When I called about one and said I had a pit bull the response I got was "NO! no vicious dogs". Vicious????? Are these people serious??? This brings me to think how ignorant people are. A man raped his daughter from age 4 to 10! And they gave him 10 yrs. That should be enough time for him to change? He probably had a mental disability they said. I know this, because it was my father. But these loyal animals are caged to become aggressive, sleep in their own mess, but no they cant change they must die. Even worse the ones who haven't even been trained to harm have to suffer the consequences. The dogs get put to sleep, and the people who abuse these animals get a couple of years and a 2nd chance!
Luckily we have found a couple of houses that accept pit bulls and will be moving ASAP. I hope this world changes soon because I am pretty sure that every pit bull that has been put to sleep will be guarding the gates to heaven and when the REAL aggressive animals show up they will be turned away with
 "No! no vicious animals".

                     The only living creature who loves you more than themselves. A DOG.

Adopting a Pit bull

Tomorrow will be 1 week that my husband and I adopted a 7 month old pit bull. And this has been one of the best decisions we have made. Our life has changed completely, we wake up early for a morning run and also have a night run. We understand the commitment we have made with adopting her, we know she needs exercise 1st discipline/training 2nd and affection after the first 2 have been completed. Are pit bulls for everyone? No, every single dog needs exercise no matter the breed but some do need more than others. It breaks my heart to see how so many people judge this dog due to its breed when before anything its a dog and with the proper training, exercise, and discipline this is one of the best and most loyal dogs. We named her Lilo and she is the most submissive and gentle puppy we have ever met. Her first owners clipped her ears after 3 months they took her to a pound where she would be put to sleep because she was a cropped eared pit bull (a choice she did not make a choice a human made). she was then rescued and put into a foster home and we came across her 4 months later. We chose her and she is now part of our pack. God gave us the authority over all creatures how we handle that authority is our choice. so please don’t judge a DOG for what a HUMAN has trained it to be.

A Wife.... A Proverbs 31 Wife.

I haven’t posted in a while, feel like I abandoned my blog. I was in Auburn Alabama, it was beautiful so many trees. Definitely a college town. I have also started reading a new book ” My so called life as a Proverbs 31 wife”. I grew up in an environment where the man was always right and if he said fire didn’t burn the woman agreed. NOT ME! I said I would run the house and if a man couldn’t live with that then I didn’t need him, of course I was an ignorant teenager. Now that I have met God I want to be what the bible says I should be. It has not been easy to submit to my husband after living my life swearing to my self that it would be my way or the high way. But it is something I am working on. Please leave your comments telling me what you think a good wife is, I want to learn. Also tell me your opinion on the proverbs 31 wife. Read the verse proverbs 31 10-31 I admire the woman but it seems a little impossible…. well maybe not.